


Waiting for what seems.

by rufflefeather



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 05:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufflefeather/pseuds/rufflefeather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Cinnatart's Kiss meme 4.0. </p><p>See? I can do fluff. </p><p>Not mine, etc. etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting for what seems.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_know_its_0ver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_know_its_0ver/gifts).



> Dedicating this to L. because I think you need cheering up, sweetie. <3

He’s nervous.

And isn’t that just ridiculous? This is _Merlin_ for god’s sake. They’ve done everything together. They’ve been friends since before Arthur could pronounce his own name. (Merlin still calls him Turtur when they’re drunk.) Friends ever since Arthur decided Merlin should sit beside him in the storytelling semi-circle and moved Merlin’s chair. Only Merlin hadn’t noticed the disappearance and sat down on a pocket of air, landing inevitably ass first on the floor. Arthur had laughed. Merlin had cried. Arthur had felt bad, had said he was _vewy sowwy_ through two missing front teeth and helped Merlin up. And that was that. Arthur did Merlin’s math home work and Merlin did Arthur’s art projects. They’d cried together at Balinor’s funeral and shared a tent for a week in Merlin’s backyard when the truth about Morgana came out. Merlin was prouder than Uther when Arthur received his Duke of Edinburgh’s award and when Merlin played Bach’s Prelude on the piano in front of a silent school, Arthur’s face was wet. 

And then Merlin waited in the car park while Arthur kissed Elena for the first time behind the library. 

And then Arthur held Merlin’s hand tightly underneath the table as Merlin stuttered, “Um, mum, I think um, I might be a little bit gay.”

They shared a flat throughout college. They found jobs in the same city. They went through falling in and out of love together. They fought and they argued and once, once when they were both stupidly drunk after Gwen had left, they had kissed. Just a gentle peck on the lips while they were lying on their backs side by side behind the couch with an empty bottle of whiskey discarded between them. Merlin had sniggered and started snoring straight afterwards. Arthur had thought, _oh_ , and felt more sober than he ever had in his life.

He had carried that _oh_ around with him for weeks, then months but it never went away. Arthur waited for Merlin’s goofy grin to be goofy again, not something to want and need and crave. He waited for this ache in his chest to subside. He watched as Merlin met Gwaine and wanted to shout, _no, he’s mine. Mine._ But he wanted Merlin to be happy more than anything so he said nothing. Gwaine too, came and went and Merlin’s passing remark, _If only you could be gay, everything would be so much easier, Arthur,_ became the ghost that haunted Arthur’s dreams.

In his dreams this moment had always been accompanied by a church choir, or a drum roll, or something to mark the importance of the moment. Instead there is just the soft hum of the kettle working itself up to a boil and the sound of morning awakening through the open window. There is Merlin standing bleary eyed in a pair of bunny slippers and ratty pyjama bottoms over a cup of tea waiting to be made. The sun touches his hair as if it feels the need to highlight its softness to Arthur and Arthur knows, in that moment, he wants to wake up to that sight for the rest of his life.

So Arthur’s nervous as he approaches Merlin. He’s nervous as he slips a hand around his middle. He’s nervous when he feels Merlin’s surprise in the breath he takes. He thinks his heart may just beat right out of his chest and flop to the floor when Merlin turns, wide eyed and wondrous. 

“Arthur,” Merlin says.

“Merlin,” Arthur says, and he starts to smile, and so does Merlin and just like that the nerves fall away. Because this is _Merlin_.

The kiss lasts a long time. Arthur could count the seconds in his mind and attach a feeling to every single one of them. There would be marvel and amazement, there would be longing and desperation, delight and joy and peacefulness. 

Instead he listens to the small disbelieving laugh Merlin breathes into Arthur’s mouth. He lets himself drift on the quiet contentment of finally coming home when Merlin’s arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer, holding him tighter.

The kiss is soft and wet and lazy. Arthur takes his time to consider Merlin’s mouth from every angle and Merlin lets him. Only brings his hand to Arthur’s face, to feel not to guide, as if he needs to reassure himself Arthur is really there. 

“Am I dreaming?” Merlin asks when they stop for breath. Arthur feels warm and whole, Merlin still pressed against him.

“Do you dream about this a lot?” Arthur asks, and he blushes a little because his voice sounds hoarse and a little bit broken.

“All the time,” Merlin says and he still looks at Arthur as if he can’t believe this. As if he’d been waiting for this and had given up hope a long time ago. The last of Arthur’s restraint shatters and he hauls Merlin in, wrapping Merlin around him and he kisses every stretch of available skin he can reach. Merlin just holds on. Holds on like he’ll never let go and that suits Arthur perfectly fine.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on LJ.](http://cinnatart.livejournal.com/471762.html?thread=6050770#t6050770)


End file.
